Pajamaland Resolved

I've got a couple of things to tackle today. First, let's talk food!

Last night, after reading Jesse's post (http://breadbaby.blogspot.com/) about her imminent departure to pastry school in San Francisco, I was craving nachos. There is actually a logical explanation as to why nachos fell into my stomach's craving center. Jesse had expressed concern that Mark, her husband, will become severely vitamin deficient once she leaves as he seems to gravitate towards nachos only when she's not around.


Anyway, I had a nacho craving to appease! In my heart I was craving nachos from El Chile. However, seeing as I had already put on pajamas, I wasn't too thrilled by anything that wouldn't allow me to sit sheilded in my car. Just in case you were concerned, I did put jeans on - underneath my pajamas of course. I'm telling you -once those things are on they aren't coming off.

Seeing that I was going to be limited by my wardrobe choices, Taco Cabana seemed liked the second best option. I was wrong. I ordered nachos and they were gross - like movie nachos. In and of itself this wouldn't have been so bad but I had real nachos in mind. Had the bag not already been a sopping mess once handed to me, I would have made it home and discovered it once it was too late. Thankfully I noticed it and was able to pull into the McDonald's drive thru just in time.

I ordered a Happy Meal because I suddenly lost all desire for anything nacho-like by this point. However, once the Happy Meal was handed over I felt really sad. Have you ever seen the old HBO "Families in Crisis" series? They were dramatizations of real stories. At the end, usually the parents (that was all that was left since a child ALWAYS died) would come on and give you a hotline number. I was OBSESSED with these as I seem to gravitate towards any show depicting tragedy.

One episode had Calista Flockhart - pre Ally McBeal and Harrison Ford - and she played a bulimic. Although I am not sure why, this scene is seared into my brain - she went through about 6 different drive-thrus and then binged in her car. It was pretty disgusting. (She also would vomit into old pickles jar that she hid in her closet.)

Although that is an extreme example, that is how I felt last night. I went to TWO different drive-thrus by myself. It felt pretty nasty. And even though I threw out the nachos and only ate a smidge of fries and my kid sized hamburger, I have yet to shake my shamed filled evening.

Luckily, this leads into my second topic! It revolves around past due resolutions. This is only a small tip of the iceberg. But to start:

1. Done with fast food. Although Taco Bell and Starbucks do not count. I don't eat it frequently by any means but I think it's time to swear it off completely. Oh, except for P. Terry's too! They have a super delicious chicken burger so that classifies as marginally healthy.

2. This piggybacks a bit on number 1. I am going to stop spending so much money on food. Specifically premade food from Whole Foods. Not only am I seeking to spend more wisely but I am also trying to cook more at home. My Whole Foods addiction is sad and mainly a result of laziness. However, I have managed to avoid them for the whole week and it has sadly shown to be a positive in more ways than one.

3. I need to moisturize. I know this sounds gross but this ridiculous weather has left my skin as leathery as my shoes. It's pretty unappealing.

4. Cookies. It is time for me to let go off my holiday habits. I can't have a cookie for breakfast anymore. In fact, I should probably stop expecting to eat one daily. Sigh. I will miss you cookies. I will miss you indeed.

Oh! I just realized that I HAVE gone to Whole Foods this week. But it was only once and it was to get a cookie. Sigh. I have problems.

There was another topic but it escapes me at the moment, so for now let's just sit happily with pajama fast food and resolutions.

My Sausage is Melting

Last Christmas I was joking with a friend about how disgusting sauerkraut cookies would be. Being that I hate my job and try to avoid it as much as possible, I thought I would waste a few minutes looking on google to see if such a thing exists. Sadly it does. For those of you with non-discriminatory taste buds you can go here for the recipe: http://www.sauerkrautrecipes.com/recipe15444.shtml For those of you that are sauerkraut enthusiast please note that you can join their sauerkraut club. There is also a link to buy Kraut and Juice. Although I really want an explanation as to what the juice is, something tells me that I really don't want to know. I should also note that a search through the site yeilded no actual recipe for sauerkraut. Instead everything included sauerkraut in the recipe but offered no clue as how to make it and called for only canned varieties.

Feeling motivated to waste more time, I decided to do a search for disgusting cookie recipes after Jesse and I discussed having a contest to find the nastiest ones. I have to say that her suggestion of a taco bell-themed beef and guacamole cookie was pretty foul. Not even the goodness of Taco Bell can make that sound good.

So back to the search results. This is one of the sites that came up: http://www.downsyn.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?p=46757&sid=92b8402b325e844c2385975beb36edc9
which is a site for families whose children have Down's Syndrome. I imagine that is quite a stressful situation for any parent. Being that kids are picky enough when it comes to food, I can only assume that children with Down's Syndrome have the same issues if not worse when it comes to mealtime, which makes me wonder why the fuck anyone would think this is a good cookie recipe. For those of you who have not clicked on the link, let me save you the time. The recipe is for CHOCOLATE CAT POOP COOKIES. What the fucking hell? This just seems so...wrong, like a really mean joke. Does anyone want to eat a recipe call Chocolate Cat Poop Cookies? Is a child with Down's Syndrome going to be more compelled towards this? If so, shouldn't a parent steer them far the fuck away from it?

I am now horrified and don't want to scroll down the results list any further since I think I found my winner. Even though the ingredients sound innocuous enough, I don't think I could ever get past the name.

Now that I have determined that looking up disgusting cookie recipes is a really bad idea I am going to move onto another cabbage related story.

Last night Jesse hosted a Russian foods themed dinner party. It saddens me to say that I have now discovered that I like cabbage. I have spent a long number of years insisting that it is awful awful stuff. And while I think it is safe to say that it is if cookies are involved cabbage should be avoided, if puff pastry and mushrooms are along for the ride it should happily be embraced because it's delightful! Also, I don't hate beets after last night's borscht. I do however hate Jesse for making me realize that my food prejudices have steered me wrong all this time. Continuing on the vein of working towards adulthood, I suppose it's time for me to get over my blanket intolerance for foods that sound boring and old such as beets and cabbage. Perhaps I should begin exploring new things although I stand hard and fast at my rejection of liver. Especially if they come from a chicken and are fried.

It's nice that while working I can come to these revelations. What isn't nice is that the clock is ticking soooo slow. What is even worse is the way that I am still smarting over he fact that while having my weekly meeting with my boss he takes a phone call that goes on for about 10 minutes before I decided to walk out. While I appreciated that it gave me time to silently plan my outfits for the rest of the week, I would rather not be blatantly put on the backburner since that happens frequently enough. It's probably fair to warn you about how much I currently dislike my job since there is going to be relatively frequent mentions of that going forward.

Would it be wrong to give people at work Chocolate Cat Poop cookies as Christmas gifts?

Before I end this post, I think it is important to note that I made my bed again this morning! However, moments afterwards, Tallulah, my dog had knocked one of the pillows onto the floor. I am sure she means to be supportive but I think the pillow got in her way of setting up her throne amongst the remaining pillows.

Also, it is really fucking cold.

Lastly, the title of this post refers to the sausage that is currently defrosting on my desk.